You Will Always Be

I am really bad to purchase albums for one reason or another and give them a listen to and then forget about them. It's until days like today when I let my music play on shuffle that I hear something that makes me stop and wonder who is this and why have I never listened to it before.

"Kingdoms rise and kingdoms fall
But You go on and on
Hard times come but You remain
The fortress through the storm

You will always be
Never failing King
Just and faithful, always able
You will always be

Years will come and days will go
But You will never fade
Things on earth will let me down
But You will never fail

My eyes may look away from You
But You will never leave
Times I've turned and run from You
Your love has stayed by me"
Kristian Stanfill

There are so many things in my life that are changing right now. Today marks the beginning of the last week of my time on staff at The Gallery Church. The Ramey family announced yesterday that they will be leaving New York to head back Northwest for the health of their family. I'm looking to find a job in the city. My first time really writing a resume and interviewing in the corporate world. Changes everywhere that I turn. But one thing remains the same, my God.

What a relief! I have been trying my best to cling to my sweet Jesus, as I affectionately like to call Him, with all of me. There is too much going on right now for me to do anything but cling to Him.

I sat here in the office starting to feel my shoulders touch my ears as I worried about not finding a job and having to leave New York before it was time to. And what if I wear the wrong thing to the interview that I am never going to get. And how will I say goodbye to all the people that I love and this city that has become my home. All my worries were and are pridefully wrapped up in me.

I am so thankful for the reminder that "You will always be". I will not let fear and worry win.

You Hold My Lot

"The Lord is the portion of my inheritance and my cup;
You support my lot.
The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places;
Indeed, my heritage is beautiful to me."
Psalm 16:5-6 NASB

"Lord, in all the chaos and crisis, all the threat and doubt, You caused my life to work out. Instead of me falling apart, the lines of my life have fallen together. Truly, I can say that You have given me a delightful inheritance." Beth Moore version

This summer, I had the privilege of going through Beth Moore's Esther study with some amazing gals. We all go to different churches in the city, but we all came together with a bond to know Christ more. I can't help but be amazed at how God works out things in our lives. These ladies shared in my decisions to step down from staff and to move on to the next adventure in my life.

G'Day Australia!

Letting Go...Life is Waiting

"I've been holding on so tight
Look at these knuckles
They've gone white
I'm fighting for who I wanna be
I'm just trying to find security

But You say let it go, You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the one's who lose control
You say you will be, everything I need
You said if I lose my life it's then I'll find my soul
You say let it go.

Well it's hard enough to hear
Harder still, to move beyond this fear
We know there's nothing I can bring,
So tell me what do you want from me?

But You say let it go, You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the one's who lose control
You say You will be, everything I need
You said if I lose my life it's then I'll find my soul
You say let it go, You say let it go

What do I love?
What do I hate?
What will I lose?
What will I gain?
How do I save my soul?
What if I bend?
What if I break?
What will it cost?
What will it take?
For you to save my soul.

You say let it go, You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the one's who lose control
You say You will be, everything I need
You said if I lose my life it's then I'll find my soul

You say let it go, You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the one's who lose control
You say you will be, everything I need
You said if I lose my life it's then I'll find my soul
You say let it go, You say let it go"

Let It Go, Tenth Avenue North

I'm Hatching Out of My Shell

"The hens they all cackle, the roosters all beg,
But I will not hatch, I will not hatch.
For I hear all the talk of pollution and war
As the people all shout and the airplane roar,
So I'm staying in here where it's safe and it's warm,
And I WILL NOT HATCH!"
~Shel Silverstein

It's been a while since I have written anything. My life has drastically changed since the beginning of July. I am beginning an adventure that I always feared. I was so afraid of the unknown. So afraid to hatch. But I am choosing not to live in fear anymore.

In two weeks, my time on staff at The Gallery Church will be coming to an end. The emotions I have felt and will probably continue to feel are so overwhelming some days, I just want to stay in bed, "where it's safe and it's warm". That's not Gods plan for me, that's fear running my life.

I'm staying in the city for some months. My plan is to get a corporate job and stay here until I can make my way to Australia.

I have no way of finishing this post. No thoughts. I just want to live the adventure of each day. I'm living for this moment. I'm hatching out of my shell.